Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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