I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Say something about gay babies.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
