Don't make out with my wife yet
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
