apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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