There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
