Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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