hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
