You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
