Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
