Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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