1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
