You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
