brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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