Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize