wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
