I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just got carded by a ten year old.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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