I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize