that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
