Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Holy shit dude........stairs
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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