so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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