And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
