5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
