WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
high people should be assigned attendants
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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