never play flip cup with pint glasses
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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