this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
