Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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