Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
