i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
