so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
