real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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