drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
