Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
