I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
