Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
