Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I enjoy the company of your penis
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
