He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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