I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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