But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
