He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
