I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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