so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Found the puke drawer
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
