so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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