Already got asked if we're dating
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
God, I missed his penis.
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