Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
