do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
