And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
