Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is it because I queefed?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
