I showed him my bush... on skype.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
