Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
