reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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