C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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