3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
