I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Someone shattered a urinal.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
