Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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