i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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