I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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