Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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