turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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