did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
