are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
