And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
