she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize