i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
