I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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