I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
